Artie, Larry, Shmegs, Ira and Naoki are friends in their forties who think they’re a lot better at basketball than they actually are. Based on skill alone, they shouldn’t be watching basketball, let alone playing in a league. But their weekly game allows them to get out of the house, relive some of their youthful triumphs, and most importantly, engage in the age-old ritual of male bonding. Together they face the health, relationship and career challenges of middle-age, as well as some old challenges they thought they were done with years ago, like growing new hair in hard to reach places.
In the 40 & Over League (and sometimes in the bedroom … if they don’t pace themselves) they are known as “The Double Pumpers.”
DOUBLE PUMPERS ROSTER
ARTIE JACOBS (5’9 SHOOTING GUARD. BASKETBALL SKILL LEVEL: STARTED ON HIS 6TH GRADE TEAM. HASN’T IMPROVED SINCE)
Artie is a mid-level sales executive at a software company, who works from his home in the suburbs of NYC, and spends a good portion of his day in his underwear. He lives with his wife Jodi and their two young children. The league gives him a reason to miss his family for a few hours and to put on pants.
LARRY ADAMS (5’10, FORWARD, BASKETBALL SKILL LEVEL: 2ND RUNNER-UP, 1983 HILLCREST JEWISH CENTER DAY CAMP HORSE TOURNAMENT)
Larry is a down on his luck psychotherapist who rents the apartment on the side of Artie’s and Jodi’s house. Larry’s ex-wife and former partner, Eileen, took the kids, the house, the money, and all their patients, forcing Larry to try and rebuild his practice by offering coupons in the local Pennysaver. He’s kind of like Frasier, only unsuccessful, and probably much worse at basketball.
STEVE “SHMEGS” HOGAN (5’11, FORWARD. BASKETBALL SKILL LEVEL: CHUCKER EXTRAORDINAIRE)
Shmegs is a New York City health inspector and divorced father of one. His ethics on the job are beyond reproach, but he isn’t above lying to a woman about his work, income or basketball skills in order to seduce her. His nickname is derived from the fact that he’s uncircumcised. We’ll leave it at that for now.
IRA ROTHMAN (5’9, BASKETBALL SKILL LEVEL: STARTING POINT GUARD FOR YESHIVA UNIVERSITY, 1988-1991)
Ira is a married father of four. He’s a partner in a successful dental practice, but often reminisces about his days as a star college point guard, draining buzzer beaters, crocheted yarmulke bobypinned tightly to his Jewfro, the crowd of dozens screaming: “Rothman! Rothman!” These days, though, the only screaming he hears is from his patients after the novacaine wears off.
NAOKI UMHEHARA (6’2, CENTER. BASKETBALL SKILL LEVEL NEVER TOUCHED A BASKETBALL)
Ira’s Japanese-American partner. He plays in the league because he’s over 40, tall, and available. He’s never been married, but hopes to change that real soon by meeting and wedding his Jewish princess. His conversion to Judasim is nearly complete and is something he believes will be of great value to the Jewish people, given what he calls their “diversity problem.”